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F**k New Year Resolutions

Ok maybe that’s a little harsh but for real, I have stopped making a list of resolutions and here’s why:



It fits right in with the prevailing belief that we must do in order to be worthy, that we must produce in order to feel good about ourselves, that not only must we do but we must do MORE, be BETTER!


It’s that way in our culture, this capitalistic society is built upon the idea that the American Dream is available to everyone, if we just work HARD enough. There are all sorts of things wrong with that idea (though working hard for something can be important) and it’s predicated upon a fallacy that there’s an equal playing field among other things.


But besides that, this push of going, doing, achieving, is burning us all out.


I see it over and over with my clients (and have experienced it to a life threatening degree myself) - we get little warning signs of a cold or slight pain in the body but it can be hard to listen to those messages until they physically stop you. And make no mistake about it, they will if they haven’t already.


So I respectfully bow out. I bow out of pushing myself or comparing myself. I bow out of shoulds and guilt though when they show up (as they do), I bring in COMPASSION.


Instead I slow down and feel into what my body needs, listening in the spaces between going and doing.


I focus on the physical sensation and get CURIOUS (a great practice to do with thoughts and emotions as well) and follow wherever it goes.


As I make this a practice, I have more space between stimulus and response (thank you Viktor Frankl) and my perspective (the lens I see everything through) starts to shift.


So maybe instead of resolutions, I’ll get quiet and set an intention towards allowing the wisdom I have inside to be shared to support others and soothing my inner critic when she pops up (as she just did).


How am I doing so far? How are you doing?


If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts and intentions for this next year.


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Carmen McKay
Carmen McKay
Jan 01, 2023

Thanks so much for this reminder to not buy into the societal programming of Doing vs Being. For me, this is a beautiful New Year's gift to remember to lean into Spirit for guidance and bypass the ego. I find it the most challenging thing to do - to slow down and sometimes do nothing - to trust that life is happening FOR me and not TO me. It's difficult to break out of the programming alone, so reminders like this allow for growth through community. Peace!

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Dr. Loi Medvin
Dr. Loi Medvin
Jan 24, 2023
Replying to

I'm so glad it landed for you. It's such important "work" and not easy to slow down though it's crucial to shift out of victim (being done to) into trust. It's moving from an external locus of control (where everything happens to you as you'd said) to an internal one which gives you so much more agency!

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