F**k New Year Resolutions
Updated: Sep 7
Ok maybe that’s a little harsh but for real, I have stopped making a list of resolutions and here’s why:
It fits right in with the prevailing belief that we must do in order to be worthy, that we must produce in order to feel good about ourselves - that not only must we do, but we must do MORE, be BETTER!
It's woven into our culture. This capitalistic society is built in part on the idea that the American Dream is available to everyone if we just work HARD enough. There are all sorts of things wrong with that idea (though working hard for something can certainly be important), and it's predicated upon the fallacy that there's an equal playing field, among other things.
But all this pushing, going, doing, and achieving is burning a lot of us out.
I see it over and over with my clients (and have experienced it to a life-threatening degree myself) - we can become so accustomed to pushing through fatigue, stress, discomfort, or the quieter signs that something isn't working that we barely notice how much we're overriding ourselves. Sometimes it isn't until something interrupts our ability to keep going that we realize how long we've been doing it.
So I respectfully bow out. I bow out of pushing or comparing myself. I bow out of shoulds and guilt - though when they show up (as they do), I bring in COMPASSION.
Instead I slow down and feel into what my body needs, listening in the spaces between going and doing.
I notice the physical sensations that arise and get CURIOUS (a great practice with thoughts and emotions as well). I pay attention to what I notice and what changes when I stay with the experience rather than immediately pushing past it.
As I make this a practice, I begin to notice more space between what happens and how I respond. My perspective - the lens through which I see everything - starts to shift, too.
So maybe instead of resolutions, I'll get quiet and listen for what I want to bring into this next year. I'll set an intention to share some of the wisdom I have inside in ways that might support others - and to offer some compassion to my inner critic when she pops up (as she just did).
How am I doing so far? How are you doing?
If this resonated with you, I'd love to hear: What are you wanting to bring into this next year? What might you be ready to bow out of?
Thanks so much for this reminder to not buy into the societal programming of Doing vs Being. For me, this is a beautiful New Year's gift to remember to lean into Spirit for guidance and bypass the ego. I find it the most challenging thing to do - to slow down and sometimes do nothing - to trust that life is happening FOR me and not TO me. It's difficult to break out of the programming alone, so reminders like this allow for growth through community. Peace!